Strange.

You say to others all day long, how are you?

Still, when did you pause to wonder, how am I?

Your own sense of self can be moody, changeable like the weather. A subtle energy that shifts and breathes with your experiences. You wear busy like a badge, cloaking you in carefully constructed illusions, delusions of micro accomplishment. This dulling of your instinct as you rattle around like a mouse in a cage. To check in with self requires that you slow. That you soften, that you bend, bend, bend but do not break. 

1. Perhaps you could try mixing it up  

Intentionally do something different, daily. Go to a different cafe, leave your phone, read a book instead of scrolling. During my Melbourne Uni days, my friend Jarret often tried quirky things to push himself outside of his comfort zone. I remember him eating cereal from a bowl on the floor like a dog or writing with his non-dominant hand. One day he blindfolded himself and his brother led him around the campus to lectures and tutorials blind for the day. Getting out of the familiar evokes curiosity,

fast forward to now and he is one of the most interesting, accomplished people that you’ll ever meet.

2. Commit to a regular ‘self’ practice. 

Whatever practices, tools or rituals that you prefer commit to it, daily. Each time you step onto the ‘metaphoric’ mat you’re opening to a quiet internal conversation. To get out of the busy mind and drop down into the body, to converse with your higher self. It is uncomfortable at times, certainly difficult when you are caught up in the chaos of the mouse wheel but gently as you begin to arrange your internal thoughts, mysteriously your external world rearranges.

3. Romance yourself.  

Get ready with music. Get dressed and do all the things. Book yourself a table at a restaurant, take a great book, order yourself a beautiful meal and delicious wine. Leave your phone. Read or people watch, soak up the atmosphere and view it as an experiment. Have fun! People are too focused on themselves to judge you, and confidence is attractive. These solo times in foreign cities might be the time when you end up meeting someone amazing. A solo date builds self-confidence, and each one will become easier. Remember, you are modeling self-love and presence for others and that’s cool. 

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Til next time, 

IR x